Pilot- the lull

The lull

There’s 6 days before I plan to leave for my adventure. So far most things are packed and the van is set up nicely. There are still a few things I’ve got to organize and get together, and I am a little anxious as to whether everything will work out. The past week or two has felt really surreal and even slightly uncomfortable. My entire world is about to change and this lull during this transitioning period between my old life and my new life is… well strange. I have this inner knowing that once I leave I won’t come back, at least as the same person. I am currently not the same person I once was. I can’t even remember a time where my personality was fixed. I am always changing, always growing, and always becoming more than what I was. Yet the steps I am about to take and have taken, I have to say I’ve really been surprising myself. Can I even keep up with my own growth?

Being in alignment and “going with the flow” is a strange thing. When things fall into place perfectly despite the odds or obstacles, it kind of blows your mind. If I am being honest, I haven’t got a clue what I am doing. The only thing I am sure of is that I am following my joy, and somehow by doing that, I am finding the support, finances, and opportunities I need. My spiritual teacher, Teal Swan, has always stressed about following your joy. Other spiritual teachers express this as well. It is known throughout the spiritual community that the path you are meant to follow is paved with joy. I just never imagined I would find myself in a space where I am actually doing just that. I guess I hadn’t known what my joy was until recently. It wasn’t until my first Rainbow gathering and my first music festival did I find something that truly filled my soul. The thing these two events have in common is that I found myself so easily in the present moment. Every moment was filled with connection and music. Something about sleeping out of a van, or under a tarp really made me feel alive. From losing my mind in a crowd listening to electronic music, to sitting next to a fire with a bunch of gypsies with their instruments. I found myself in music. I’ve never felt passionate about music before. Now I think I found a genre of music that I absolutely can’t get enough of and I want to explore. I also am determined to learn to play the guitar so that hopefully I can join in next to the fire for a spontaneous group jam session. Not that I plan to be great at the guitar, I just want to cross learning an instrument off my bucket list.

So here I am sitting in front of my laptop typing out my first blog post as I am babysitting little baby Katalina. She’s taking a nap. Something that hasn’t changed about myself is the fact that I love to write. I’ve never been much of a fiction book writer, that is more up my sister’s ally.  What I’ve always love to do, is express my thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Sometimes I’d do this in my facebook notes, the majority of the time it’s expressed in a lengthy facebook status. Either way, I’ve got a lot to say. Was I born to blog? I guess I am about to find out. I have to tell you, nothing feels better than to have your own blog. To even say “My blog”, I get goosebumps. So far this is my first post, but stay tuned. I have a big adventure I am about to set off on, and you bet I am going to blog my ass off this summer.